Thursday, June 17, 2004
I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts, Deedly Deedly...
Is there a little something odd about Karthik saying Deedly Deedly?
The end of the mourning period for the late Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara, a sort of leader of the province of Lau, Fiji, will be commemorated by the plaiting of the magimagi, a term that translates roughly to "coconut fiber."
Due to the popularity and importance of this Tui Nayau (roughly translated as "governor"), the magimagi will be made with 3000 coconuts involving four to six people; usually, only one or two people are involved in plaiting a 100-200 coconut magimagi.
Let me be the first, therefore, to urge Americans of all ages and walks of life to join together to lift our great nation out of its mourning for the late president Ronald Reagan by plaiting an enormous magimagi, made with at least 100,000 coconuts and utilizing the hard work of 2,000 people, slaving day and night only on this task. Truly, only such a great work will show this nation's love for our fortieth president.
We capitalize President.
Aside from that, it has already been done before.
I'm absolutely serious.
This idea makes plenty of sense.
More sense than Reagan replacing FDR on the dime, at least.
Because FDR had his plaiters work overtime.
Since you, the reader, are obviously interested enough in this idea to keep on reading, I would like to propose an addendum to this idea: only top Republican law-makers, neocons, and Ann Coulter be allowed to create this magimagi.
Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
That way, Republicans will be able to get plenty of PR and bragging rights later on, and Democrats can govern the country more effectively.
Oh, and Ann Coulter will finally shut up for a while.
Silence your opponent?